As a therapist work I with individuals to help them to help themself. Asking the right questions is an important part of my work. If you are suffering from stress, anxiety, depression, work/family/relationship issues, or anything situation or problem that has you feeling stuck or unable to cope contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Let’s be honest it can be difficult to find a feeling of calm when we are stressed, worried or anxious! Teaching our self to become calm at these times is a very powerful tool. I believe being mindful (consciously staying present in the moment) is one of the greatest lessons we can learn. The ability to be in the moment allows us to not be concerned with the past or the future. We can only work with what is happening right now. To worry about the uncertainties of the future or situations from the past is a waste of time, energy and probably causing you unnecessary stress.
When you are stressed out, anxious or worried ask yourself these simple questions;
What am I stressed out about? (Am I worried about something that has not happened and may not ever happen Or am I reliving/beating myself up over something from my past?)
Do I have control over this situation? (Is there something I can physically do to improve this situation or is someone else making the decisions?)
If you have no control over the situation take a few deep breaths, acknowledge that you can not change events and Let it Go!!
You are only hurting yourself by holding on to things you have no control over. Yes, I know some of us like to be in control of everything but it is simply not possible and accepting this is the first step to letting go.
We all have a fear of something or perhaps more accurately multiple things! The trouble is when we allow fear to control us, to stop us being ourselves, reaching our true potential or living the life we want to lead. Fear can be debilitating and left unchallanged can lead to anxiety disorders, stress, depression and even suicide. Realising and admitting our fears to our self can feel scary and unsettling but I believe not addressing or facing your fears can be more painful in the long run. Talking to mental health professional and working on the problem will change your life. It all starts with the first step… pick up the phone or send an email and make that first appointment! You deserve to live the happiest and most fulfilled life you can, don’t let life pass you by!!
Imagine taking time for yourself every week to sit in a peaceful room with someone who is there to listen and support you. Consider how great it feels to be able to share all your worries and concerns, thoughts and feelings with complete confidentiality. Now think about how much you will learn about yourself and the skills and tools you will gain empowering you to lead a fuller and happier life.
Sounds good? What have you got to loose? Make your self a priority you deserve it!
If we are to simplify our lives by focusing on what is really important (family, friends, love, fun, a sense of belonging, helping others etc) and took the time to appreciate the little day to day things, how much of a difference do you think that would make to your life?
The past can affect us all in different ways as any significant experience can have a lasting effect on us. As children we are thought rules, thought how to behave as such we learn to see the world as it has been presented to us by those around us. Sometimes we can take on other people’s views as our own without ever stopping to question what we have been told. Unconsciously we develop defense mechanisms to protect ourselves from situations that cause us hurt, pain and anxiety. We may disassociate, become defensive and act out, rationalise or deny what is happening in order to survive. It is important however to remember that we can think for ourselves and decide what we believe to be true. Likewise we can change our behaviour in the present to move forward in a more healthy and productive way. Holding on to old defense mechanisms that no longer serves us can keep us stuck and work against us. As Maya Angelou once said, “when you know better, you do better” so it is important to take what you learn and make it work for you. Remember, don’t let the past determine your future follow your own path in life.
How many times have you not done something because you were afraid?
Afraid of rejection, of failure, of being wrong, of being judged, of having that difficult conversation or even of being successful!??
Now, think how many times have you faced your fears only to discover that the reality of the situation was not nearly as bad as you had imagined?
It takes courage to face your fears and it builds strength and character. How you choose to live is your decision….
Face your fears.. Contact Carol@believecounselling.ie or 0867371737